In the next episode; Tom is busy going shopping, when he discovers to his dismay that a group of forum users, annoyed at such a sack of shit’s continual existence, have decided to make his life even worse by Rickrolling him; Rick Astley is now following Tom around, singing his massive 80s hit “Never Gonna Give You Up” constantly until the hateful little prick dies. Astley does this pro bono (i.e. for free, for the benefit of the whole human race – which, make no mistake, is what Tom killing himself would be), and all of the people who have to suffer Tom’s nauseating presence day in day out willingly collaborate, even allowing Astley’s energetic dancing and singing into his college classroom. His classmates, although deterred by the crooning, are willing to put up with a couple of days of aural discomfort if it means that they don’t have to hear Tom, a complete wanker so fat and ugly his dad was convinced his wife had fucked a warthog nine months prior to his birth, incessantly droning on about some anime he saw last night which only four people in the world have seen, three of which only watched it on the offchance that a Japanese schoolgirl would get fucked up the arse by a giant octopus with cocks for tentacles (and one of those was Tom). Even shop assistants consider the ongoing Rickroll to be far less irritating than Tom alone.
Finally, after several days of enduring a ginger Northerner singing at him, Tom flips. Frothing at the mouth, he dances naked on top of the college building singing a rendition of Never Gonna Give You Up that’s all his own, rendering it tuneless and somehow fat. Then, several hundred incidents of people looking upwards and being incurably blinded by the sight of everyone’s least favourite blubster later, a firearms unit is called in to snipe him off the roof – four members of which are left blinded with post traumatic stress disorder. Although they’d witnessed the horrors of riots, Fallujah and a street shoot out, nothing had prepared them for the sight of Tom with no clothes on. Finally, after the steeliest member of the team is called in, Tom is knocked dead with a headshot, falling off of the roof directly onto a working sculpture of a giant food processor made by a third year art student, turning his lumpen body into a bloody, greasy geyser for all to see – a sign of both hope and justice for all concerned.
